My dear Desiree,

That was the best party I've ever been to.

If I get an A...

For my essay on marriage...

Will you marry me?

I can't stand...

How pretty girls can get such an unfair amount of my attention.

1018 words down

Close to 3000 words to go.

Tuesday is the deadline.

Wednesday has another test.

Tomorrow I shall do the unthinkable.

And take a Sabbath day off to the Lord.

For the first time

I bought a chinese book.

I need help reading it though.

Anyone wants to read it with me?

1 sem

2 pods

56

Mom came into my room just as I opened my eyes this morning.

She sat down on my bed.

Her eyes were red.

The first thing I thought was, "what happened to Marianne?"


She had gotten an email that one of the OM team's bus in South Africa had gotten into an accident and that it was in an area that my sister was supposed to pass through.

No lives were lost, but 7 of the 14 involved were injured and in hospital.

So I prayed with mom.

The mail said the home offices of the students injured had been notified, but OM Singapore had gotten no word so we had a feeling she was not one of those in the accident.

Still, it was rather unsettling.


Later on in the day we managed to get through to South Africa and confirmed that she was not on the bus that was hit.

It would have been the 3rd accident this week involving people from my church.


Pray for the student teams there with Marianne, both for the injured and the shaken.

Flowers

I arrived in school last wednesday with a bouquet of flowers.

(Thanks to my auntie killer face, I got a 20% discount for it.)

(But don't tell the girl I gave it to.)


I crept up behind Melanie at the Deck with the flowers in my hand.

Everyone at the busy canteen was staring at me. Except Melanie.

I surprised her from the back and pulled out the flowers and she said,

"So who is it for?"

I put the flowers back into the bag, acting as though nothing happened.

I was quite aware that the next table was staring.


Valerie was having a group meeting somewhere else at the Deck.

I walked up to her with the flowers in full view and slowly held them out to her.

"They are for Melanie right?" she smiled and said.

I stopped smiling and pulled the flowers back slowly.

"They are not for me... right?" Valerie asked.

"Er... er... no..." I said hesitantly as I turned away with a disappointed face.

The rest of the group managed to say "owww" though their jaws had dropped.


I arrived at the theatre later than Yinhong.

I crept up behind her and presented her the flowers.

"For your friend is it?"




This is why my mom sometimes gets random flowers from me.

Pray

I was stuck. I could not do my essay. I left the study room and went into the sun.

Did you know that they just built a small pathway behind the bus stop at YIH that leads to nothing but a big signboard saying NUSSU?

I followed the path and sat on on the concrete slab next to the NUSSU letters.

And I sat there for a long time, listening to crickets and busses, footsteps and voices.

Just me and NUSSU separated from the rest of the world by a sea of green.

I hate writing long essays. Does a writer start writing before he knows what he's going to write about?

Looks like I'm going to have to do that.

Dear God... help me.

The School Dentist

Today, I saw the nicest, youngest, handsomest dentist I've ever seen in my life.

But he charged me a lot for his good looks and kind words.

Some of my girl friends are interested in going for a check out.

Sorry I meant "check up". Freudian slip.


I wonder, if Jesus was fully human and fully God, if he made freudian slips.

55

I woke to the sight of Jamie, dead on the floor.

He was my pet spider who grew larger than I expected.

The way he fought off other fighting spiders with lightning quick agility was an inspiration for me in fencing.

Jamie, I will avenge your death!


But wait. Dad says I'm the one who killed it.

Crap. Like that how to avenge?

It's a damn cold night...

Last week today, I was freezing to death in LT8.


I turned to Samantha and asked, "Can I borrow your jacket?"

"No," she said.

She wasn't wearing it.


I turned to Janice. "Can I borrow your jacket?"

"You're not going to fit in it," she said.

"I just need to cover my arms." I replied.

She decided to put on the jacket instead.


Xinyi came in.

"Do you have a jacket?" I asked.

"Yes why?"

"Can I borrow it? My hands are really cold."

"No."


I went back to Samantha.

"You just bought a Psychology Society T-Shirt. Can I please borrow it?"

"No."

"But why? You're not even using it now," I pleaded.

"Because you're a guy."


This week today, I brought my own jacket.


Sometimes, even guys needs some warmth and love.

54

Had my second session with the fencing coach yesterday.

Still struggling to keep up, but at least my hand's not killing me now.

Fought 2 bouts, each I held to 14-14 before losing.

I wonder why.

-:-

2 female saberers were asking a guy who had pierced one ear if he was gay.

I told them "left is right and right is wrong". His is on the left. He's not gay.

Then they asked me about people who pierce both ears.

"Girls," I said.

-:-

The conversation then moved on to lesbians.

The girls were surprised at how much I knew.

"How come you know so much about this? You used to like a butch is it?"

I parried the question with my ultimate excuse for obsession with women.

"I'm minoring in gender studies"

First Blood

Florence might be the first to have an opponent dislocate his shoulder while fencing her, but I'm the first to draw blood.

My own blood that is.

53

My bus passed an old man on the roadside pavement in Punggol.

He was clipping the dead skin off the edges of his hands.

He must think this is his home.


I wish more of us would think like he does.

52

Interesting how God compensates for the things I gave up on his account.

I feel so blessed.

Thank you God. Really, thanks.

Attraction #4

I had actually long forgotten about my blog series on attraction months ago after failing to find answers to the question of what kind of girl I'm attracted to. It all restarted when Melanie said she could tell what type of girls I like. She would not tell me then, but gave me a month to figure myself out.

And I did. Well, I think I did.


A few weeks back during a lecture on marriage, I scribbled down a few things I look for in a wife.

And as I thought about it, I could understand why I look for these things.


That day itself we had a Family tutorial and were asked what we look for in a spouse.

I told my group I'm not looking for the perfect Singapore girl, because I was not planning on staying in Singapore permanently. I want to go somewhere more... more rural. More rural than even Punggol.

So what am I looking for?


1) I like a girl's smile
I don't just mean for the camera. Wide, full and sincere smiles have always won my heart. And it makes sense. Someone who smiles more is someone with more to smile about- and would generally be a more positive person.

2) Low in neuroticism
If she's prone to emotional/mental/psychological instability on a reglar basis, she probably isn't the best person to bring out into the field- where you have much less control of what's around you and the circumstances you find yourself in. Stressful.


These 2 are opposites of each other, and I need a girl in the extremes of positivity to survive in an environment of greater stress without breaking down. In fact, I don't just hope she survives, I hope she thrives. I am a positive person, and I hope to find someone who can work with me in helping others, not require me to work on.


3) Please, no dumb phobias
If she's afraid of something common, like say... grasshoppers or lizards or the dark, how in the world are we going to survive out there in the field? If she's one with debilitating fears of something we're going to see every day (or night for that matter), then I really should spare her the pain and let her enjoy a safe life in Singapore, where the night is lighted and the grasshoppers are small and rare, unlike this:

(Taken by my doctor friend Anish in India.)

4) Independent
I believe, and desperately hope, that my wife and I will be a blessing to other people more than we are a blessing to each other. I don't need someone that I have great chemistry with and want to spend 100% of my time with. I need someone who can survive without me around for a while, who can hold her ground on her own, and who will not crumble without me. And the truth is, if we are a blessing to other people together, we already are a blessing to each other.


5) She's got to be open to new experiences
There's a difference between trying to cope with a new lifestyle experience and surviving it. But I'm asking for even more. I'm looking for someone who does not just survive in a rural place with all it's battered roads and dirty toilets, but craves the excitement of doing something extraordinary and crazy. I am crazy about doing crazy things for God, and I don't just need a wife who can live with that, but who will get the kicks out of following me into the dark.


6) She can't be materialistic.
Definitely. I don't think i need to mention this actually, as a materialistic girl won't like a missionary anyway. Unless she's materialistic for heavenly riches- that's okay. And she really should not smoke. I'm asthmatic.


That's about it! I actually modeled this based on the 5 factor personality model, but left out extraversion, agreeableness and conscientiousness. These I don't need in extremes like I do for neuroticism and openness to experience.

So I need an optimistic, positive, stable, fearless woman who wants to experience the world and doesn't fear getting her hands and feet dirty.



I'm basically looking for a warrior princess.

Okay fine, warrior woman, not princess.

But princess sounds less domineering and scary.

And it's a more romantic notion.

I mean romantic not in a romantic romantic way. I mean it sounds more... cool.

Boys don't cry

If I ask you to watch only a part of this clip will you promise you won't watch more?

This film is too "mature" for most of the readers of my blog.


And anyway the rest of the clip will just confuse you.


So please only watch from 1:19 - 4:00. Stop the clip exactly at the 4 minute mark.




See... I was moved to tears in the bus on Friday.

I was also moved to tears in church that night.

Here comes Jesus, the king, the messiah, the one who will save the world.

Here comes Jesus, riding on a donkey.


And I cried at that.

He's so amazing that he doesn't even need to try to fit the criteria of a king.

No horses, no chariots, no soldiers.

No trumpets, no music, no confetti.

Jesus was so awesome kingship had to be redefined around him.


Here comes Jesus, riding on a donkey.

And crowds gather, shouting Hosanna, waving palm branches, and laying their cloaks down on the ground.


No fanfare. No nothing. Just Jesus riding on a lowly donkey, an animal of servitude.

This is our God, the servant king.


I cry because he asks me to follow him.

I cry because that's all I ever want in this life.

I cry because he asks me to follow him.

Beautiful girl

I saw that girl that I could not help staring at in the bus again.

The thing is... this time... I hardly recognised her.

In fact I didn't even realise it was her though she was next to me.


Maybe because she was not alone this time.

Maybe it was coz she was talking and I could hear her voice.

Maybe because she was talking to a guy.

Maybe it was because it was not night time.


Maybe... in the same way food taste better when you're hungry, girls look better when I'm smashed from fencing.


I'm kidding.

But see the wisdom of not listening to what your heart tells you to?

I'll tell you what happened in Feb this year- when I did follow my heart- soon.

51

And I got an A.



In other news, I got 15.5/30 for cognitive psychology, which was the paper I had only 4 hours to study for.

Not too bad I guess... Lower than the mean though.


I remember telling people that we don't choose our majors by our grades.

Yet I ended up in Sociology because my grades could not get me elsewhere.

Not that I'm not doing well in Sociology.


I think I'm still in denial.

I'm still wearing the "psychology" t-shirt.

Never trust weather forecasts, especially in Singapore

What I viewed last weekend. 

It was actually sun with thunder, sun with drizzle, sun with rain, then haze, haze, haze.

50

Christmas comes early. I hope.

I told my parents what I want for Christmas today.

I want a sword.

Not one for display, one for use.

It would make sense to get a Christmas present at Christmas, but that'll defeat the purpose of getting it.

I want to get used to the blade so I can slash people in January.

In fact, I have a name for it already.

49

Sexuality class. Our lecturer talked about prostitution in Singapore.

He showed us cuttings from the newspapers.

Pictures of women in skimpy outfits next to headlines about solicitation- outside the red light district.

From Kovan to Jurong, prostitution was spreading to places not previously associated with it.


Then the lecturer put up another newspaper cutting showing a picture of the typical NUS girl's attire and we burst out laughing.

It's practically the same attire- tight shirts sometimes showing generous cleavage and short shorts/skirts showing plenty of legs.


"Not everyone can be a prostitute," my lecturer said, "I think it's quite a compliment to be mistaken for one."

I'm sitting opposite a most beautiful girl in the bus.

She's not slim or tall, but her face... is totally... I don't know... flawless? Proportioned?

I'm rather mesmerised.

For a moment I thought she had the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

In my heart I wanted to tell her how beautiful I thought she looked.

When I finally managed to look away, I remembered I felt the same way in February about another girl.

Ah yes. The girl I first met on the day I saw (what was then to me) the most beautiful sunset in my life.

But I remembered that I had made a promise back then to never reward physical beauty again.


So I kept quiet, and watched silently as she got up and alighted from the bus a stop before me.



Want to hear what happened in February?

48

I started the day walking on grass in the sunshine with clear skies.

By mid day there was thunder and sunshine.

The sunset was totally obstructed by a heavy fog.

Welcome to Singapore: The end is nigh.

-:-

Today I requested an academic book online.

I collected it from the library this afternoon.

It's the first time I'm borrowing a closed stack book.

It's the first time I'm borrowing an academic book for leisurely reading.


The end is nigh.

People say I notice things no one else does

And I get a kick out of it.

47

Just finished my 1000 words and submitted it 2 minutes before the deadline.

Freedom.


Till next week, when 4000 words are due.

2 young girls walk into the church sanctuary

One suddenly stops and hides behind the other.

"I'm scared of this place, especially when it's dark."

Attraction #3

Remember the series I wrote on the kind of girls I like? I wrote this draft in Feb. It didn't get posted till now because I could not answer the question at the bottom and I don't like unanswered questions. Now that I have an answer, here's the question.


"
The Second Look

We've covered the initial attraction already, but we haven't covered much ground in the psyche of Justin because, like he himself says,

"There's no such thing as love at first sight. If it's at first sight, it's not love."

While initial attraction may tell somewhat the kind of girls Justin finds attractive, it does not show the kind of girls that he tends to be attracted to. In most cases, the more attractive he finds the girl at first glance, the less likely he is to find himself attracted to her in the long run. So while first impressions lead to second conversations, they may be only be a good predictor of who Justin is more likely to talk to than who he's more likely to fall for.

And so we come to the second look. Most of the time this refers to the backward glance after noticing a pretty girl, but that's not what we're talking about today. This section is talking about girls who Justin has found himself attracted to, which is something different from finding a girl attractive at the first look. 




Here are some girls in movies whom Justin was not drawn to at first glance, but tended to like after a while, i.e. the second time he saw the movie.

Although she had acted in many movies, it was only in seeing Vicki in Red Cliff 2 that Justin started to like this girl more. (He now wants to name his future daughter after her character in 14 blades.)

The girl on the right is Charlene Choi, she acted as a comical young female cop in Jackie Chan's New Police Story. Justin only noticed her the second time he saw the film.

And before there was Vicki or Charlene, there was Rui En in the local romance drama "Chemistry".

So what's different about this group with first group? Well, what attracted Justin was not something obvious at the first glance, which means it was something less salient, something that took a lot longer to notice than external beauty. And this something within, was what Justin wanted so much to identify.


To be continued..."





Afterthought:
Take into account I wrote this 8 months ago. I find it amusing that I was thinking this way, but if you get the gist of this post you'll understand my next one post when I answer the question.

Maiden Voyage

Tonight, I drove for the first time alone.

All was well till I came to the entrance to my home car park.

I made a fast corner and did an immediate right turn.

Only then did I notice the Indian worker walking on the road in the dark.

I had just passed him without seeing him.

Goodness. That was close.

46 Cog Psy

Melanie:
"is today('s tutorial) on language or categorisation?"

Justin:
"Cat. I think. No I'm quite sure. As sure as I was that the test was 2 weeks after recess week."


But the test was 1 week after recess week, and we were the only 2 people in class today who read the wrong article.

45 - Survivor Syndrome

For the first time, I was not the only junior picking up the Sabre today.

We had a round-robin mini sabre tournament.

3 juniors- fighting 3 seniors- over 3 rounds.


The first round began and I took on the emo senior fencer.

I lost as expected, but at least this time I was not trashed.

I fought very hard and my shoulder joint began to hurt.


The second round had me take on my female senior.

Though my hurting shoulder slowed me, I managed to win.

But my shoulder hurt even more after and I had to support it.


The third round was under way when suddenly...

Pop!

Shoulder dislocation.


It wasn't me, but the junior who was fencing one round before me.

We called in a medical student friend.

He recommended the dude be sent to the A&E at NUH.


So training came to an end before my turn.

And I've never been so glad it had.

As I clutched my hurting arm, I prayed for my friend

And thanked God.

Eugene's Wedding

The only other male Hui is finally married.

I'm free.

I sang in Chinese at his wedding to the shocked faces of my cousins, all of whom that were present were married already.

At the wedding dinner, the best man went up and told a joke... that fell flat.


I thought about what's going to happen at my own wedding and I was suddenly frightened.

Jon Ma's jokes silence crowds.


"Mom..." I turned to my mother with panic in my eyes, "does my best man have to be a guy?"

44

It's all beginning to blend.

For my Family module I'm discussing how women balance career and child-raising.

For Developmental Psychology I'm learning how a consistent care-giver is important in helping a child develop his or her gender identity.

For Sexuality I'm learning that the genes passed from your parents might have a bigger say in you becoming gay than anything else.

Why am I always ending up with such overlapping modules? It's all starting to blend.

As though someone just pressed the Flush button.

43

It was a strange start to the day.

I tend to be late for school on Tuesdays. It's my first early day in the week.

I woke up and was startled by the fact that I had not heard my alarm.

Then I realised I woke an hour early.


So I stepped out of bed, and my foot touched something.

A lidless plastic container. Oh no.

The container that kept my spider had fallen off the table.

The monster I had raised was unleashed.


Then I noticed my huge corkboard, that my friends decorated for my 21st, was on the floor.

It had fallen off the wall and knocked the spider's container over as it fell.

Funny thing- I didn't hear a thing though my world was crashing around me.

Strange thing- the falling board did not hit my big, fragile perplexus puzzle ball that stood between it and the spider container.


It is a strange start to the day.

And now it's starting to rain in the sun.


"When everything comes crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me."

42

I stood at the end of the jetty.

It was dark. The wind was blowing relentlessly.

It was quiet.

Waves lapped against the steps of the jetty, but other than that, nothing was heard.

I was at Punggol Point tonight, here on the whim of a fancy of someone else.

I was at the point where hundreds were executed no 60 over years ago.


I was feeling cold. So cold.

But I was feeling peace, such peace.


It's only when you feel cold and lonely that you notice someone has always been by your side.


I was standing alone. Technically.

Ever wondered what the inside of my head looks like?

Cognitive psychology research has shown that the world in our head is mostly bound by the same physical laws that govern reality.

We don't fly or swim without air in our head much. It takes longer to think up a gigantic elephant sized fly than to think of an elephant. We walk in our dreams.

But when we watch something like a horror movie, and see things that do not follow the physical laws of the world, we get quite scared. In fact, we are more scared after the movie is over, when we begin to recall the movie in our head, thus allowing the being(s) of supernatural ability to enter our mind. And because our mind's world reflects the world outside, we are limited by the laws of physics and are unable to fight off the ghosts that have entered and are running amok- our own mind traps us.





I posted this video because it really reflects what my mind looks like.

Sometimes, fearful and scary things enter my mind- but I do not let them take hold. I believe that if such supernatural horrors are true, then so are the supernatural weapons that defend me from them. So every time a ghost/monster/demon/vampire/werekim enters my mind, I instinctively draw out the weapons to fight them.

Easier said than done of course. What if the fear you're feeling is from outside of your mind? How can you believe your own thoughts can overcome the very real external element of fear?

I know they can't. But I also know that my source of strength and power is not in my own head.

"He that is in us is greater than he who is in the world."

If the God I trust in is the ultimate authority in the universe, what am I to fear?
For as long as I am in him, I am safe.

That's why I can sleep in front of a full body mirror, not say sorry when I pee on a tree in the army, look at myself in the mirror when I use the toilet with the lights off at 3a.m. in the morning and visit the cemetery in the middle of the night alone.

I'm not asking for trouble. I don't do these things because I am looking for trouble, I just find myself in such situations, and I don't want to give the devil a foothold in them.

(I went to the cemetery to pray by the way, to stand in the gap between the living and the dead, and to die to self and be alive in Christ.)

41

I pray I only get as much rest as I need to continue fighting well.

40

I was awoken by strong wind and rain.

Jumping to my feet, I rushed to close all the windows in the house.

Then I sat down and felt the crushing sense of loss.

I was having a wonderful dream.

The sense of loss is not because I had to wake, but that I had to forget.

We forget our dreams by the time we get out of bed.

So what I normally do is have a very long alarm that gets louder and louder over 15 minutes. It starts with slow music that does not wake me, but affects me in my dream, drawing me slowly towards the surface. I become conscious that I am dreaming and quickly recall as much as I can of what just happened in my dreams. Then the music gets louder and I start to awaken, but I stay down and don't start thinking about reality yet, instead focusing all my attention on the memories of my dreamscape. By the time my last loud alarm sounds, I have moved all my dreams to storage memory, and I get up and quickly type my dreams down, for they will still be forgotten in a couple of days.

Today I woke even before my first alarm rang.

(I did not copy this playing music thing from Inception though they did use it in the movie. I was doing this way before the movie was shown, and thus identified with the movie a lot.)

So without the time to package the memories, I lost almost all recollection of the past 8 hours. I forgot meeting the girl I liked, I forgot what I said to her, and I forgot how the conversation went. I forgot everything except the fact that I met the girl I liked and said something significant to her (and because I can't remember what I said, I think having this memory sucks more than forgetting everything). Felt as though I just wasted my last 8 hours.

-:-

In the lift on the way to school, I looked at myself in the mirror, and completely did not recognise myself.

I look like a totally different person.

-:-

I arrived at fencing and everyone who saw my FB was interested in my eyelashes.

Only the girl who did not add me on FB noticed my hair was dyed red now.

39

We humans are great at categorizing things. 

Big, small, black, white, tall, short. 

We're good at categorizing people too.

But the problem with any categorization we have is that
there will always be people who can't be categorized.

-

See, I went to school today with curled eyelashes.

Nothing wrong with that right? 

Wrong.

This creates a problem when I need to find a place where I belong.

People who go here don't have curled eyelashes. 

So where should I go?

Curled eyelashes are not enough to get you in here. 

(I stood outside the door long enough to take this picture... 

and didn't feel welcomed.)

Where was one like me to go?

Thankfully, NUS has a place designated specifically for me.

Western Saloon

So I was in quite a pathetic state when I met my hair dresser.

He gave me my usual cut. 5 dollars.

His neice came and served meiji milk.

And she offered tuna spread on cream crackers.

Gary, my stylist, asked if I was in a rush.

I wasn't.

He offered to dye my hair to the colour I first wanted.

I consented.

I was given another glass of meiji milk.

I got my hair coloured and washed.

So...

1 cut,
1 colouring
1 wash
2 glasses of milk
4 tuna spread crackers

For 5 dollars.

This is why I keep going back to Gary.

Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in a door...

I was walking out of school when my right calf suddenly started hurting.

I limped down Kent Ridge, worried about how I was going to fence tomorrow.

I pushed open AS7's glass door and saw a whole lot of people at the lobby as I hobbled in.

The heavy door swung close before I had cleared it and caught 2 of my fingers in its jaw.

I wanted to scream in pain but there were too many people around.

I hobbled out and down Kent Ridge, holding my throbbing right hand with my left.

It was particularly difficult climbing down the stairs.

There's a line across my middle fingertip, and black lines appearing below my middle and 4th finger nail now.

I arrived at the glass door of my hair stylist's saloon approached with caution.


How am I going to fence tomorrow?

38

I am smashed.

Well in several ways.

Watched over an hour of non stop interviews with people who don't fall clearly into male of female categories. Drag kings, drag queens, lesbians, gays, butches, lesbians who marry transexuals, bisexuals...

Fenced with a girl today who smashed me up good. 2 girls actually, separately. Like I said, now is the time I will lose and lose and lose. All senior fencers, and I'm training to catch up from the bottom.

But the most interesting thing I learnt today was the concept of negative space.

When an object is defined by what is around it.

37

I like Mac.

They never crash.

I went to school the whole day just to use a video editing program on the school Mac, which I have on my own Mac. This is why:

I worked till the school com crashed.

Randomness

"You fit the theory of evolution. Random."
-Wan Jun, TCPC

"Justin is unpredictably unpredictable."
-Huiqi, KPC


Randomness is difficult.

Today was my Sabbath, and after missing last week's, I was excited about it. But when mom asked me what I was doing today, I found it difficult to say "I don't know". While it was half true that I didn't know what I was going to do, I did know that I was going to spend time with God. I was not wasting time idling (as the phrase "I don't know" may imply), but I just didn't know where God would lead me.

Maybe this is why it is so difficult to set a day aside for God, because it's so difficult to explain what you're doing. I don't know...


Last night at 2am dad found I was still awake and asked me to turn in.

So at 2.45am I went to bed, said a prayer for Cheryl Chan doing her 24km route march to the floating platform (for her Basic Military Training Passing Out Parade) and closed my eyes.

5.45am. She was 2.4km from the ending point, and I was still not asleep.

And I realised I have not seen the sunrise this whole year. Not even in India when I woke at 4am. (The mountains blocked the sunrise you see...)

So I thought... "God... since I can't sleep... might as well right?"

The next thing I know I was at the best spot for watching the sunrise in Punggol. My LRT station platform.

You roughly see what looks like 3 suns here in this picture. What I saw were 3 lighted areas- green on top (no idea why), yellow in the middle (the sun), and red below (the clouds burning).

The difference between sunsets (that I usually watch) and the sunrise, is that you can't watch the sunrise for long. It gets more intense by the second till- you can look at it no further. Thus I was done watching the sunrise just past 7am. And as I looked in the distance I could see the marina bay sands resort. Yes, we can see it from Punggol. So I thought, "God, since i'm already at the station... might as well right?"

So I took the train towards the marina bay floating platform for Cheryl's POP. But I did not have the ticket for entry.

I reached Dhoby Gaut interchange with no idea what time the parade started or how I was going to get in. As i waited for the circle line train to pull in, I took out my GPS phone to find the way, and a woman approached me.

"Excuse me, do you know how to get here?"

She pointed to a map to the marina bay floating platform printed on a ticket for the POP.

"I'll take you there!" I said happily.

Her name was Angeline and she had a young son named Bryan with her. She was going to see her brother (I thought she was going to support her other son *facepalm*). She was surprised to find out I was going to support a girl, and that I had no ticket. For the record, she didn't have an extra.

I brought them all the way to the floating platform and the parade had already started. I walked close to Angeline and Bryan and talked to them to show we had come together as passed the soldiers manning the entrances. Seeing a guy, a girl and a kid, the soldiers let us through without checking our tickets (even though the kid looked like he had caucasian heritage and both of us were Chinese). Heh. God provides!

So we enjoyed the parade, and I had much fun talking to both of them about the army. Then the troops did a march past, and we went forward to see them up close (we were half way up the stadium, a long way off). I was separated from Angeline with this huge crowd moving to the front.

March past over, the crowd dispersed back to their seats, and I found Angeline.
But she had lost Bryan in the crowd.

A stadium that can seat 30,000 was not where you want to lose a kid. I was as anxious as her and after taking down her number, began searching. She approached the sergeant ushers for help. They had the "Oh no what are we going to do now" look on their face.

After checking around us and realising he was no where near where we last saw him, I started to think like how Bryan would, and formulated that he might have found a way back to his seat. So I moved upwards, and found the boy close to where we were previously sitting. I waved to the soldiers to tell them he was found as Angeline came up to him and kissed him on the head.

It moved me so much. I don't know why... to see a mother kiss her child. Maybe because I felt a little of what she was feeling for the past few minutes.

So the parade came to a close, family were invited down to the parade square to find their new soldiers, I bid Angeline and Bryan goodbye, and walked to the other side of the stadium to find Cheryl. I think i'm quite good at finding people, because although her church friends and family were sitting very close to where she was standing, I got to her before the rest and was the first to congratulate the visibly moved girl.

I met the Toong Chai people like Wan Jun and Ernest who came to support her and we took turns carrying her field-pack as the group tried to get as far as possible from the crowd to get a taxi. We had to go through city-link and ended up at City Hall interchange where Chee Hong randomly bumped into us. (Chee Hong is the pastor from TCPC. Woah.) He didn't even know the parade was today.

We said goodbye to Cheryl and her family. I was hungry, and it was only 10am. So I said, "since I'm already here... might as well right?"

So I headed up with Wan Jun for my first McDonalds breakfast since after I returned from India. And who else was I to bump into but Samuel who joined us for a short breakfast. Sam soon headed off for his project meeting while I shared with Wan Jun what a struggle my past week had been, and how God pulled me through so I just wanted to take today to remember his faithfulness. She asked me if i often do such random stuff like coming down for a random someone's POP. Sometimes?

I added, "One thing I realised is that girls understand very little of what a guy goes through in the army. But Cheryl, having gone through BMT and a 24km route march, can at least understand some of it. And I want to support her for that. I don't get to talk to her much, so coming down for her graduation is my show of support."

I waved Wan Jun off and walked through the wind and the rain. Since I was here... might as well...

Go to Cat Socrates! But it was still too early, so I went to the library to look for my mainland Chinese friends, who i did not manage to find. I borrowed "Watchmen" and was pleased I could do so with my drivers license. Then back to Cat Socrates to buy film and drink drinks and talk to Hellen the shop keeper about my trip to India and the shots i took.

Desiree was thinking of coming to Cat Socrates. She asked my to buy her stuff.

A girl came through the door and I crashed into her. Intentionally.

Huiqi!!!


Inspired by the wall in Cat Socrates, I went to Art Friend to buy materials to do up my own wall. But I could not find the stuff I needed. Then suddenly...

Huiqi!!!

She was holding exactly what I wanted to buy. So scary. We both bought the same things.

So I came home in the afternoon and did up my room wall, taking down all the 40 over post-its and putting the new design up. Thus was my date with God.


What was my plan for the day at 5.44am this morning?
"I don't know"

What was my actual day like?
-Watched my first sunset this year
-Made 2 new friends on the train
-Watched my friend gradate from BMT
-Helped a woman find her lost son
-Met my friends from TCPC
-Ate with Sam Soon and Wan Jun
-Visited my fav shop, Cat Socrates
-Went shopping with Huiqi
-Redecorated my room wall.

Sometimes, all God wants us to do, is be obedient. Obedience often sounds random, but that's only random if God is not in the picture.

God is not random.

"The lot is cast into the lap,
but its decision is from the Lord."
-Proverbs 16:33

In other words, God controls the falling of the dice. How willing are we to place our time and money on his bets and not our own?

36

Bible study today.

We were asked why we cheer so loudly for our sports teams or pop idols but not for God.

We declare our amazement and love for these things but we're silent about God.

I realised that analogy doesn't work so well for me.

I don't cheer for bands or sports teams.

I was trying to figure a good analogy for myself.

What do I really love?

Oh. Oh yeah.


Okay...


I resolve to love God the way I love girls.


Starting tomorrow. It's a Sabbath.

I have a date with God, long overdue.