Yours faithfully.

Highway run

Into the midnight sun

Wheels go round and round

You're on my mind

I have a calling. And it's to go where few go and to help those that few help. I feel called to go to India to work with the oppressed, and everything that I am and have been seems to be leading me in that direction.

Restless hearts

Sleep alone tonight

I have a struggle though. For my friends know that I, more than most, desire a life partner. And it's true, for the longest time, I have greatly desired a wife.

They say that the road

Ain't no place to start a family

Right down the line it's been you and me

It was the second time my closest friend and I had talked about why we were not together. It was a difficult topic to breach, because it was not easy to find an answer. And if we could not find an answer to why we should not be together... then what? 

We enjoyed each other's company, we got along with each other's friends and family, and our school friends were already teasing us about being together. We were supporting each other personally and were effective in ministering to schoolmates together. So why were we not together?

There was only one thing we lacked: I felt called to go, she didn't.

Right down the line between you and me.

It went right down the line between her and I. But it also went right down the line between my desires and God's desires for my life. I could not have both. If I was to follow God by hitting the road and she was going to stay home, we all know being apart ain't easy on this love affair. At most I would still be but sending all my love along the wire, but not holding her in my arms.

I would be forever "yours faithfully"... Not a loving husband by her side, but the words "yours faithfully" that she reads at the end of all my letters just before I sign off yet again.

Wondering where I am lost without you

It's always hard to give up something you love. It wasn't the first time I had let go of a girl to follow God, but that didn't make it any easier. It's difficult to answer the question of "why am I putting myself through so much pain?" when it presents itself every other night. At times I feel lost... and wish so much for someone to hold and to hold me, but the reason why I'm in pain is the same reason preventing me from finding solace.

I get the joy of rediscovering you

Oh Lord

You stand by me

But God doesn't shortchange. He honors sacrifices in his name, as Matthew 19:29 says. And in giving up on my desires for a wife, I drew ever closer to God and what he desires for me, which satisfies in a way nothing else on earth could. With God I finally find real meaning and purpose in life.

I'm forever yours

Faithfully

This song was on replay on my computer for days at end, not just because it so aptly captured the tension I was facing at the time and put emotions into words, but because it was to me a prayer.

The song is so raw and honest, like the battered and broken heart I was offering to God. I gave him my heart and soul once and for eternity, and seek to live up that promise day by day, faithfully.