Late night supper after fencing training at a little coffee shop near Holland V.
As we entered, I noticed a well dressed and made up girl with a nice figure and long hair queuing for food. I didn't get to see her face except from the side, but I could tell she was above average in the looks department.
I bought my food and drinks at another stall, and realised she was still queuing with her back to our seating area when I returned.
Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see how she looked. So I went to the coffee shop toilet in front of her, knowing that when I came back out, she would be facing my direction.
I washed my hands and came out quickly. What I saw surprised me.
Her looks were as I had expected - she was pretty.
That was not what surprised me.
From where I was standing in front of her, I noticed most of the guys in the seating area behind her had their eyes glued to her.
Seems I wasn't the only one whose eye she caught.
It was actually quite a cute scene to see.
I wished I could have gone up to her and told her that she was pretty enough to make the heads of most of the guys behind her turn. I wanted to tell her because most guys would admire her from a distance without ever complimenting her and it was very possible she would never know how attractive she really was.
You know what? I could have done it.
I did something like that before.
But... I need some advise here.
You see, I'm so afraid that in complimenting a girl for her physical beauty, she might begin to feel that what is skin deep is the most important thing to beauty. This is what the world tells women, which i really don't agree with.
Is there a way to compliment her looks without making her feel beauty is skin deep? Or should I just shut my mouth as I have done for the past year or two?
As we entered, I noticed a well dressed and made up girl with a nice figure and long hair queuing for food. I didn't get to see her face except from the side, but I could tell she was above average in the looks department.
I bought my food and drinks at another stall, and realised she was still queuing with her back to our seating area when I returned.
Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see how she looked. So I went to the coffee shop toilet in front of her, knowing that when I came back out, she would be facing my direction.
I washed my hands and came out quickly. What I saw surprised me.
Her looks were as I had expected - she was pretty.
That was not what surprised me.
From where I was standing in front of her, I noticed most of the guys in the seating area behind her had their eyes glued to her.
Seems I wasn't the only one whose eye she caught.
It was actually quite a cute scene to see.
I wished I could have gone up to her and told her that she was pretty enough to make the heads of most of the guys behind her turn. I wanted to tell her because most guys would admire her from a distance without ever complimenting her and it was very possible she would never know how attractive she really was.
You know what? I could have done it.
I did something like that before.
But... I need some advise here.
You see, I'm so afraid that in complimenting a girl for her physical beauty, she might begin to feel that what is skin deep is the most important thing to beauty. This is what the world tells women, which i really don't agree with.
Is there a way to compliment her looks without making her feel beauty is skin deep? Or should I just shut my mouth as I have done for the past year or two?
After reading the previous time you did it...
ReplyDeleteIt's not the act that's the sin but the intention that could be. For all you know, she might have wanted an explanation to why the guys were looking at her as she may not have a high opinion of herself.
Once in a while is okay, as long as you're not in it for the euphoria but because you're being the good neighbour.
Anyway, that's just what I think.
you could write a note to the girl explaining all that you just thought about. then it wouldn't be misunderstood.
ReplyDeleteKevin, so when should or when should I not go in?
ReplyDeleteDes, would I need to include the part about not wanting her to feel beauty is all important in the note?
Perhaps when the person seems to be down, lost, confused or feeling uncomfortable. Then they probably won't take it wrong and you would be encouraging through what may have been a bad day. You don't have to o any further than a compliment.
ReplyDeleteyeah..
ReplyDeleteDes, that would take a lot of time and words though. How should i phrase it?
ReplyDeleteKevin, ah i see. I think in such a case it's straight forward and I will go up to her. But if she is oblivious to the stares should i still engage?
In that case the person is probably focused on something or thinking. You would probably do well to be chivalrous and keep trouble from other guys on her sublty but keep your distance from the person.
ReplyDeleteIf she isn't focused and does not feel discomfort, you go ahead and say it because it won't really matter as she probably knows who she is.
Wait hold on I think you might have gotten the idea wrong.
ReplyDeleteI don't see the guys staring at her as a bad thing but a good thing, which is why I want to tell her! I see it as them admiring her. Kinda.
Then just leave her, because sooner or later, one of them would have done it anyway and saved you the discomfort of doing it.
ReplyDeleteEveryone admired, no one complimented. What if i was supposed to be the one?
ReplyDeleteI fear not the awkwardness or the discomfort. I just fear causing more harm than good.
You never know until you try. If you don't try, you'll hold on to regret, but if you do try, very little harm can be done when it comes from someone like you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kevin. But I don't think good intentions always come out well. Like with the previous time that I gave a letter to a random girl I don't think it was a good thing.
ReplyDeleteGiving a note is a lot more sinister than saying it to them. Atleast, I feel that way.
ReplyDelete