Punggol for Dummies

For most of you who do not know, Punggol is located between Seng Kang New Town and the southern peninsula of the black lands of Mordor.

My cousin from Australia was standing at the LRT station and he thought he saw a cow.

We're not that backward okay... It's not a cow, it's a water tank in the middle of Punggol field. People in a civilized province like Punggol have access to drinking water. Who wouldn't know that!

Anyway if you look to the background you can see another barrage being built in Punggol. See, we're not lagging behind the rest of technologically advanced Singapore.

In other news, residents of Punggol celebrated the opening of the estate's first 7-11 store. The grand opening of the popular chain of convenience store's flagship in the estate was attended by over half of the province's population. The festivities were reminiscent of the opening of the province's first fast food outlet, Kentucky Fried Chicken, back in November last year. Many residents have been living in the area since 2001, thus the opening of such joints in recent years has been greeted with great jubilation and sighs of relief.

Technically, the 7-11 store is not in the residential area but located several kilometers from the nearest housing block. It made more economic sense to build it in a rural place for lower rent. After all, it being the only big convenience store in the area, it could choose where it wanted to be, and people would have no choice but to come to it for supplies. We sent our on the scene reporter to check out the biggest convenience store to be built in Punggol.

Signboards were put up very kindly leading travelers out of the residential area right to the store, which was located in a much more rural area.

After passing 3 signboards like the ones above and a very big banner closer to the store, our reporter finally arrived at the 7-11, and the carpark to the Marina Country Club where it was located was packed full of Punggol vehicles. Before this, the carpark had been consistently empty and was more a place for couples looking for a secluded place.

"7-11 has really brought in business to this area," said Mr Chan, the carpark warden. "We used to have free parking and no one would come, but now with the store we can charge people per hour for use of our carpark."

A comparison to other estates show that no other 7-11 has close to as many signboards pointing to it.

Skeptics (most of whom from SengKang New Town) have said that the 7-11 located off Punggol is still smaller than the one in SengKang. But to the local optimistic population, a little is better than nothing and they are still are feeling the euphoria of finally being seen as worthy of a 7-11 in their neighbourhood.

Punggol still does not have a McDonalds, even after letters to the editor, the management of McDonalds, and the province Member of Parliament. KFC still remains the only fast food joint in the area.

I've Made a Mess of Me

I just recovered from a week of having severe throat infection and inflammation.

I was on some medication and drank water like a fish.

But...

All the while, each time mom checked me, she said my throat was not red or inflamed. I had no temperature either. I wasn't coughing. In other words, though I felt sick, I did not have any real symptoms of sickness.

It's the exam week. I did not show any signs of anxiety though I was greatly stressed. Maybe this was my id's (my unconscious') way of releasing its tension.

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no drug that they could sell
No, there ain´t no drug to make me well

Yesterday night though, my temperature surged, my face was flushed, my eyes were bloodshot, my heart pounded, my breathing became more vigorous and my head was throbbing. Rashes started to form and my previous insect bites started to act up again.

I think I'm allergic to alcohol.

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
The sickness is myself

Stop and Stare

If you can't stop to listen don't start to talk.

-Justin Hui, 20 Nov 09

Did anyone bother to notice the stars today? Did anyone realise how big the moon was tonight? Did anyone of you even look up and see that there wasn't a cloud in the sky this evening?

I just headed to the rooftop garden connected to my block of flats. I saw the huge smiling moon. I counted at least 54 stars. I got down on one knee, and I praised the Lord.

I was in full view of the 4 apartment blocks around the garden. I didn't feel self conscious even though 104 households were surrounding me.

Because no one even bothered to look out of their window to notice that someone was on the roof.

Broken People, Broken Arms

After living for over a month in the Caste system, Mom has been emancipated.

She's overthrown the shackles that have held her and is now free.

But she's an outcaste now. Untouchable too.

Yes yes I know, I've studied a little too much for my South Asian module on the Dalits. But try to stop me from raising awareness about their plight!

Mom is out of her cast but her arm is still very weak and painful to the touch. Thus I found it interesting to call it that. Hope this is not insensitive. Not meant to be.

So here's a picture of her cast when it was still on. Artwork my yours truly.

If you're wondering, it's a labyrinth. I learnt it from the illusive and mysterious Dr S. Basically, unlike a maze, if you follow the path of the labyrinth you would pass through every single path in the entire labyrinth before coming back to where you started. This modified labyrinth went round the whole arm. The original looked like the human brain.

What's even more cool- archeological findings from ancient civilizations from separate parts of the world have uncovered the same design- long before the time when these civilizations were even in contact. Freaky. How could they all know the same symbol.

Some say it was aliens who visited the different civilizations. Others say because the starting point of drawing the labyrinth is the cross and the 4 corners of the universe, that it was a universal symbol. Or maybe all civilizations did come from one place to start with.

Nice.

Psychology Finals

There before me the paper lay

Judging me in its cruel way

Asking what I had to say

On this cruel judgement day

I felt like walking out 20 minutes before the end of the psychology paper. 2 out of 5 structured questions I could not do. When all else fails, fail everyone else - my act of walking out of the examination hall would break the psychological focus of my competitors. But I was still struggling with the paper and could not finish the paper in time to walk out.

Staying might not have been so bad. I changed many of my MCQ answers during the spare time. Hehe.

When the paper was done, I felt like standing on my chair and telling my paper not to judge me any more. But people taking psychology would label me abnormal, people taking sociology would label me deviant, and people with philosophy would sigh. So I didn't do it. Sigh.

Coming out, I saw mixed reactions. Everyone could not do 1 or 2 of the structured questions, but their responses seemed to depend on whether they took the stats module. Smiling friends went, "that was so much better than stats!" while frowning ones thought it as their worst paper.

Yeah yeah I couldn't do 40% of the structured questions, but compared to stats, I'm quite sure I'll pass.

So I'm happy. Lalala.

Sleeping Around

So the Doulos is going to be scrapped.

There goes another bed I've slept in. There goes another ceiling I've slept under.

In my life, I've slept in many places.

I've slept in my bed, I've slept in my parents bed.

I've slept on my sister's bed, I've slept on the living room floor.

I've slept on reclaimed land, I've slept on a park bench.

I've slept under the moon and the bamboo on a mountain peak.

I've slept in the deserts of Australia and the dormitories in Myanmar.

I've sleep on safari beds in Assam and beds in a safari in Africa.

I've slept in my nephew's bed in Portsmouth.

I've slept on a bed in Eusoff Hall and the floor of Temasek Hall.

I've slept on a sofa at Exxon Mobil and on the bed of a half blood princess.

I've slept in a bunk in Tekong and 3 bunks in the west.

I've slept in 3 bunks in the east.

I've slept on a bed in Hong Kong and I've slept on a mattress in Singapore.

I've slept in a sleeping bag in 2 secondary schools.

I've slept on the floor of NUS and I've slept on the roads in Taiwan.

I've slept on my grandmother's bed and my cousin's tiled floor.

I've slept on the Doulos Ship,

The 747 returning to Singapore,

The Swiss double decker train,

And the Indian train with 3 bed levels.

But what's important is that I wake up.

Every morning I awake and look around at the surroundings, familiar or not. It takes a while for me to figure out where I am, and remember who I am. When I finally do, sometimes it makes me sigh. Then I pray for help to carry on. But some days I am happy when I remember who I am.

Every day, it's a miracle to me how I got here and how I remember how I got here. As long as I can remember who I am, there is hope in my today.

Yay.

By the way please don't suggest any ideas like making the ship into a church/monument/restaurant unless you have a few million dollars to spare.

I already tried.

One Month On

It's been a month since I began this new lifestyle.

Some things have come to light that I am really quite embarrassed about.

The first of which was that when I threw off my old self, the masks and pretense and nicknames and what not, I realised that the real Justin behind everything was nothing.

No I'm not trying to be humble, I really felt lost. Yes the old has gone, but it felt as if the new had not come. Thus the identity crisis. Without the old identity I didn't know who I was.

But what was really going on, was that when the covers fell away, the Justin that was exposed was a frail, weak, undernourished and underdeveloped being. He lived through other names and characters but was never himself. As Artaud put it, "He wasn't entirely himself".

So the new self has come in the form of a blank slate, when you compare the two it seems like something was taken away because the new has nothing on it. But I guess that's the point of it.

Okay... the second thing. I hate to say this, but because of the nature of the characters I played, I was always seen as someone more mature. True I acted mature and as a good example, but... I missed a stage of development. Thus Justin was looking good on the outside, but was underdeveloped on the inside.

I am a 21 year old undergoing adolescence.

There, I said what I was trying to hide the whole of this blog's life. Desiree put it in simple words. "Adolescence is a natural stage of development where identity is the main issue of struggle. But this usually happens before a person is 21. At a later age they seek out more intimate relationships. You seem to have done this backwards."

It's true. I got a girlfriend, skipped lectures, stayed out late, used bad language and listen intently to Avril Lavinge's "Let Go" album, all for the first time in the span of the later half of this year. These were the things most people did in their teenage years. Yes... I had pushed back development in order to help others develop. And when everyone had moved on... I hadn't. No wonder I felt a lack of friends after JC. I felt no one at my level... And I had thought I was at a more advanced stage of development.

These are the feelings that have been in my heart, these are the thoughts that are in my mind. In the words of Avril when she was going through this phase in life:

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around it's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do.
Just don't.

Give me a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today...

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow

Tomorrow is a different day.

And what she sang is what I'm saying to you. I need some time alone, I need some silence. I'm going to hostel, God willing, and I'm going to be a recluse. Prince George's Park Residences is as isolated and secluded as you could get and I knew once I saw it that this is where I need to be. This is going to be a few months of silence, of soul searching and meditation. When I say I want to live like a monk I meant it.

God has always been faithful. Now has come a time for me to go into the forest alone, and be with my maker, letting him write on my new blank slate whatever he want to.

I'm not running away. I need to go. I've been here too long. Goodbye.

I've Applied to Hostel

There are times in life when we will learn.

There are times in life when we will preach.

I've preached for most of my life.

But I'm out of date and out of things to say.

I need some time to be alone, do some self reflection.

I need to develop my faith into something that can thrive today the way it did yesterday.

I really hope I get the room in hostel.

Then I'll disappear for a while and live like a reclusive monk for a time.

And when I return I will have something better to say.

One Cor Six Twelve

If swearing always lets me evangelize the way it did today, I'd swear a whole lot more.

Today, I chose being real over being right.

I have changed.