The Search is Over

For the duration of this year I've been searching for a song that sums the year up.

I've had a Song Of The Year since 2005. Let's do a countdown.

In 05, it was Consuming Fire. For that year I had Rachel B watching out for me, teaching me about love, worship leading, and having a passion for God.

"There must be more than this..."

In 06, it was How Great is Our God. It was for most of the christians in Singapore anyway. It was a year of celebration, of fun and of finding rest in the joy of the Lord.

"Sing with me- how great, how great is our God!"

In 07, I had just returned from India and went straight for a Cliff Richard concert. Without any introduction, he began singing the hymn-like Faithful One. For one who just survived a tough month alone abroad and had just experienced God's faithfulness in a very new way, the song was like an epilogue that brought me to tears.

"And when the day is done,

And when the race is won,

I will bow down before God's only son"

08 wasn't that good a year. I was in the army, I was isolated from my friends, and I was failing in everything I did. Jon Foreman's The Cure For Pain didn't remove the pain, but resounded with everything I felt, which made me feel a little less alone.

"Oh my Lord, to suffer like you do,

It would be a lie to run away."

Ten months into 09, I was still without a song. Then today I got an email from Zhi Han with a song attached. Every single line in the song resounded.

I had bought a book for a friend and ended up reading it in the silence of the Lim Chu Kang cemetery. The book was written after and about this song, and expanded on every single line in it.

I was so moved by the book. It was everything I wanted to be. And now, to hear the song that inspired the book, to feel the weight of each line, to be brought back to the moment I changed, was just too much.

The search is over. I had known the song before I had heard it. I chose the song the first time I heard it.

No surprises here.

The song of 09 is Live Like You Were Dyin' by Tim McGraw.

To think I was just starting to lose sight of why I was fighting so hard to change.

Thanks for reminding me Zhi Han.