Engagement

Today at the steamboat dinner with my extended family, Mom told me that a marriage proposal and getting engaged are not the same.


I fervently disagreed. To me the whole process is simple.

1) Guy pulls out a ring.
2) Guy asks "will you marry me"
3) Girl says "yes"
4) Girl puts on ring.
5) Guy and Girl change facebook status from In a relationship to Engaged.


Apparently... I was wrong. Either that, or my extended family is awfully deviant. I realised that as I started asking the 3 older couples present there how their proposal/engagement/marriage took place.


When dad asked mom to marry her, he didn't have a ring, so it was not called a proposal. They had an elaborate ceremony (pastor included) in which mom had the ring (which she had chosen with dad) placed on her finger, and this was called the Engagement.

When I asked my uncle how his worked, he said his wife proposed. When I asked his wife the same question, she said they just got married; no engagement.


Don't you need to ask for the other party's permission before you begin planning a wedding?


Never mind, this older generation is confused. Our generation has watched enough TV to know how that a guy should ask a girl to marry him and the decision is sealed with a ring from which point they are engaged. So when we saw a ring on the 4th finger of our cousin's girlfriend, my sister asked him,

"So... Are you engaged?"

And he replied...


"Can lah."


Seriously... What is going on here?