Singapore's Elections

This is the first elections since Facebook began.

I'm amazed at how involved my generation has suddenly become with our country's politics.

All my friends studying in the university library are on their laptops and iphones during breaks between readings, checking election news headlines and Facebook updates regarding it.

We are no longer as politically apathetic as we once were.

Honestly, it's in a huge part because of social media sites.


And I'll tell you this, our older ministers are not able to wield the social media weapon the way young people can.

Yes they may be better and more experienced, but I'm concerned.

If they cannot wield the power of social media, they cannot communicate with the young voters.

(Online popularity difference of only about 10 times.)

And if they can't reach the young voters... they lose votes.

By the way, Nicole majored in Communications and New Media.

She may be young, but for just the fact that she brings something new to the table- knowledge of a tool by which to rally support that others are unable to wield, makes her a formidable force in this elections.


Marine Parade will be one interesting GRC to watch out for.

(Does anyone know who we're voting for in Punggol ah?)

Good idea

Show you something cool

Two of these pictures are taken from the protest in Egypt when they wanted their government out.

The other one is taken from the Workers' Party rally at Aljuned GRC in Singapore.

Can you figure which is which?


(You probably won't see this in the papers tomorrow.)

Oh no...

So One Of The National Fencers Came Down For Training...

Studying with the fencing team today.

After dinner, one of the guys studying with us told the story of the first time he came for training with NUS fencing.

You see, he was one of Singapore's top fencers and was in the national team, but no one in NUS knew at the time. (The only one who did pretend not to...)

So for the fun of it, he played along and acted like he knew nothing about fencing.


We were cracking up laughing at how one of our seniors was really giving him a hard time, making him do painful exercises in order to train his basics.

She jokingly said, that compared to his sister who was also in fencing, that he should just give up.


He sucked it up and went through the drills. She put him up to fence with one of the senior girls, not even a junior.

So he acted blur until he absolutely could not take it, then counter-attacked in style.


After the match the girls were shocked and asked him if he really had no experience before.

"How come you know how to do stuff I don't know how to do?"


The only other person who knew who he was said, "he has talent."

This is my friend's Starbucks tumbler

It allowed you to create your own cover design.

She asked me to help her decorate it, and so after working through the night, this is what she got the next day.

Music Therapy

Compromise

Okay I understand I have a better chance of actually getting on the train if I follow the arrows... But I need to take the North-East Line, not the Circle Line.

War Gender Boo Jeer Dow

Gender studies one again.

Getting confused once again.


I found one of my seniors studying in the library.

Actually no, Amy found me.

And she gave me some help with the issues I was dealing with.


Dinner at the deck with another senior I found.

Actually no, Yaoqi found me.

And he gave me some help with the issues I was dealing with.


You remember a time last year (oh my goodness I posted it today last year!) when I was in year one and taking gender studies for the first time and getting mind-freaked? I thought I had figured out my gender back then, but on hindsight I was confused still, just unaware.


Before I continue let me just make a distinction between sex and gender. In academic circles, "sex" is what you are born with- your biology. My sex is male. As for "gender", gender is how we behave, masculine and feminine, and this is where I was confusing myself.


Now I did not fit into stereotyped categories of masculinity the way most guys did. I did hama beads and origami, avoided team sports, and never put up much of a fight, at least physically. So what was I?

At that time I thought I was inclined more towards the female gender.


Okay before you get too excited, let me add another dimension to the confusion and hopefully qualify myself. Other than sex and gender, there is also another category called sexuality. This is your sexual inclination. So my sexuality is heterosexual because my sex is male and I like the opposite sex- females. In simpler language, I'm not gay (that would be referred to as homosexual).

That is not the issue here, but I'm saying it explicitly just in case I'm misquoted somehow and shit hits the fan.


So what is the issue? Like Melanie says, "You're such a girlfriend!" And I think she's right. Most of my friends are girls, and I am more attune to girl issies than most guys seem to be. So what... Is my gender feminine? For a while I thought so... (which, come to think of it, complicates the issue of sexuality- if I am an effeminate male, then what does it mean to be heterosexual? Dating a butch? More on this another time maybe) But today I figured myself out.

Or at least I tried to.


I have a rather freudian inclination when it comes to analysing people because it works in figuring myself out. And since Freud traces everything back to childhood, I began to think back to the time I was in primary school, and then it all made sense.


You see back then, as always, I really liked girls.

But I wasn't your usual guy who could run faster or be stronger. Come on man, Jon Ma was my classmate since Primary 1 and was already way ahead of me at sports. This made it difficult to impress girls.


Goodness this reminds me of what Mike Myers said in one of his comedies when he was asked why he wants to learn the ways of love, "So girls will like me, then I will like myself."

Back to my point, thus for the very impressionable young boy I was, I headed in the opposite direction to try to win girl's attention. If I can't be someone they are impressed by, I'll be someone they can relate to. So instead of being masculine, I became more effeminate. Well, back in secondary school, the gay identifying boys did have the prettiest girl friends. I found middle ground there.

And it worked. Too well perhaps.

I made a whole lot of girl friends in secondary school and JC and Uni. In fact, all my close friends for most of my life were girls, other than Jon Ma of course.


All's well for a long time. I got what I wanted. Kinda.

No. Not really.


They see me as a girlfriend.

Not as boyfriend material.


So this leaves me in a peculiar position. This might well be the brink of another identity crisis.


I have everything, but nothing.

So... is it time to grow up and change my ways?

I don't even know what that means by the way, but should I head down this path?


I quote what mommy said because she knows everything.

"Are you willing to give up all the other girls for one?"


I never thought of it that way.

Oh dear...


All my girl friends. Putting all my eggs in one basket.

It's a matter of time, but should the transition begin now?

Disaster

I panicked while reading Jeremiah 16:10-12 today.


 ¹⁰ “When you tell these people all this and they ask you, ‘Why has the LORD decreed such a great disaster against us? What wrong have we done? What sin have we committed against the LORD our God?’ ¹¹ then say to them, ‘It is because your ancestors forsook me,’ declares the LORD, ‘and followed other gods and served and worshiped them. They forsook me and did not keep my law. ¹² But you have behaved more wickedly than your ancestors. See how all of you are following the stubbornness of your evil hearts instead of obeying me. (Jeremiah 16:10-12, New International Version, ©2011)


I'm worshiping my own gods. I'm following my own heart. I'm headed for disaster...
And I don't know what I can do about it.


Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, Lord,
Take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.

Man... Manson Mun.

We watched this parody in church yesterday.



Very often we do get so full of ourselves.

Especially on our blogs.


Thankfully my blog is not all about me.

It's all about Mun =)=)=)=)

Studying Its Painful

When you spend so much time thinking about concepts and about society and about life... All your own issues come to light. Your ghosts return to haunt you.


I finally slept lsat night for a good 10 hours at least. I've not slept well since last wednesday. But even in my long rest I faced stressful situations that blended reality with dreams.


I was at a water theme park or chalet with my friends, but I needed to rush an assignment under the hour but I just could not do it. In fact woke before the deadline, to realise it was only just a dream. But when I went back to sleep I found myself back in the dream after the deadline had passed and I had not submitted it.


On one hand I finally had enough rest. On the other hand... I woke up very stressed and not sure if I had really missed the deadline or not.

When the president pushes the big red button...

Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.

It's the shoulders I tell you

There was a day in MJC that two of my teachers were in class.

It was one of our last days in school and we were having fun with them.


We were voting for the class prince.

The teachers read the results:

The class voted for... Yinhong!!!


That was amusing.

But it also said quite a bit about the quality of guys in our class.


Anyway, it was time to hear who the teacher's voted.

Their vote for class prince was... Me.


That was more amusing than the first and the class roared with laughter.

Yinhong said I appeal only to older women.


-:-


There was a day this week I was at the Deck talking to Auntie Kim.

No one talks to the cleaning lady... well no one our age at least.

Auntie Kim said I'll make a good husband to some girl some day.

That was amusing.


-:-


On Thursday I found myself on the bus with Michelle.

She was Desiree's friend.

I had never really talked to her before.

I sat next to her but she did not notice until I leaned over to see what she was watching on her iphone.


We had a conversation all the way to school.

To break the ice, I brought up the topic of marriage.

And how I only seem to appeal to older women.


She was amused.


-:-


I amuse myself. I laugh at myself. I am only an Auntie Killer.

But my complains are in jest. I'm not dumb.


I know there are very nice girls out there who might well like me.

But I know that honestly, I am too immature to pursue them now.

One day maybe, but not yet.


Not till I stop going crazy over something as superficial as red hair.


-:-


Last night I prayed for the right girl.

I prayed God will prepare the right girl for me.

I prayed that she will be exactly what I'm looking for.

Then I stopped.


Nah.

Knowing myself, I prayed instead that I'll like the right girl.

My wondering heart knows not right from rong.


-:-


Oh wow.

I just realised that Auntie Kim's hair was red the first time I spoke to her.

This is amusing.

Landed the Sucker Punch

Today, I got the results for my post on Sucker Punch.


FYI:

Jeri_the_dog is the username of my tutor from Gender Studies.

I picked a feminine sounding pseudonym to confuse people in the class.

WOOTS!!!

Okay, now I feel ready for my first paper tomorrow!

Good Friday Videos

Love your neighbours.



Love them all.




-:-


Speaking of love, you know how I always said I wanted a wife who is like a cat?

And I like turtles. I don't mind being a turtle.


So anyway, I found a video....

And it tells the the tragic story of my love life so aptly.

For the Muggers to de-stress

The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

Click on the full screen button.

Comic Book Art

This Article

Baby found buried alive in Eunos Crescent

On the one hand, I cannot imagine how someone can abandon a baby.

But on the other hand... I can.

There is something innately wrong with our society if a girl would rather give birth in a stairwell without medical help and bury her newborn baby immediately after, rather than to be found out as being with child.

By the way, Singapore has had over 22% of all pregnancies aborted since 1975.

In most years the figures are higher.

The peak was in 1985 when 23,512 pregnancies were aborted.

That's about 35.6% of pregnancies.

In 2009, there were 600 more births than in 2008.

Yay. Singapore population growing.

But there were still 12,222 abortions in 2008.

Think of it this way. In the year I was born, there were 52,957 live births.

A huge number we've never hit since.

But that very year, there were 20,135 abortions.

For every 5 babies born, 2 were not.

You could say I'm lucky to be alive.

It's not all teen pregnancies of course. In fact, they mostly are not.

60% of abortions are requested by married women.

I still feel something is wrong with our society.

Falling fertility rates.

Misleading term.

Falling birth rates yes, but as a country we're 22% more fertile than we say we are.

Music and video

Like with the case of Paramore's the only exception, some songs are beautiful, but their music videos are so distracting we miss the value of the song. Not that their music videos are bad too, just... Hmm...

So to circumvent this, here's the same song, once for you to enjoy the amazing creativity and touch of the surreal in the creation of music...



And once for the music video:



Both are breathtaking.

Oh the fun I had with this one...

I've been putting up notices in the past few months that look something like this:

There were 2 variations, but you get the general idea. 

I gave out the last one on Monday.

I did it to make people smile.

Seems I managed to.

Thus far I have gotten 2 calls from random people I do not know.

=)


I actually have a reward for them. But they did not want to collect it.

You know, I actually flew the present in from overseas coz I couldn't find it locally?


Oh well. Till the next random idea.

Dear Kimberly,

I dreamt I was backstage, and Babydoll was dancing.


I was so excited at the fact that I could finally get to see her dance that had long eluded me in the movie. But then I realised, if she was dancing, I need to be stealing something from the audience members. And so I ran among the audience and did not get to see her dance.


I woke up realising that Sucker Punch was not as objectifying of women as we expect. The most objectifying moments, which would be when Babydoll dances seductively and made all the guys in the film go gaga, were cut out and replaced with shots of female empowerment instead. Girls with guns with cute keychains attached killing big male samurai.

So there is some sense in saying it was a calculated loss. By marketing the movie as objectifying women, then pandered to the comic book males who are probably the guys with some of the worst ideas of women. But when these guys came to watch the movie, all they got was sucker punched. No objectifying dance, just empowered samurai slaying women. So the movie took a step back to take two steps forward.


Cool.

(GIF doesn't work on my blog. Click on it to see her move.)

But she's the coolest.

OoOoOoOo red hair!!!

Affirmation

I'm found worthy.

Coming Out

I did not do any reflection at the end of December last year. It did not feel like the end of the year anyway, with the uni term following such a different schedule from the normal calendar.


But we've come to the end of yet another school year and I do feel it is time for some reflection on the things I've done.




Uni year one was a year of screw ups and recovery. Semester 1 could be summed up under two major headings: Bad Romance and Bad Grades. Semester 2 was spent practically entirely in the library in a bid to recover from the damage done.

Uni year two was a time of new experiences. Having pulled my grades back up, I finally joined the fencing team and took part in two competitions, and joined NUS Stage and took part in two performances. I also changed major from psychology to sociology.

I have finally become the man I have wanted to be. 

See, in year one when I was still studying psychology, I took a module on personality. And we learnt that personality is largely what we are born with, more than what we are nurtured to become. There are elements of both of course in the formation of personality, but either way by the time you're 30, your personality is more or less set in stone. And back then I was not really the person I wanted to be, so I decided to change.

And change I did. I tried so many new things, and made so many new friends, and did all the things I wanted to do but never dared to. I have finally become the man I have wanted to be. 

But...

I still feel absolute meaninglessness.

It's not something I just started feeling. I've been feeling it for so long. In the entire process of change I hoped by the time I reached the end, life would have some semblance of meaning in it, but it hasn't.

I used to look at this verse and wonder how Paul could ever say life was worst than death.

²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.  (Philippians 1:21-26, New International Version, ©2011)

But now I feel exactly the way he feels. 

For night after night, this song has been ringing in my head.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone 

Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone 

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart 

I will feel so glad to go

It is in dreams that I hope to find solace in days like these.

Anyway, it came to me last night, a possible reason why I'm feeling this way. I know why I'm so tired and frustrated. 

It's because I've tried so hard to be someone I'm not. I am exactly who I wanted to be, but I am not myself. 

I've been trying to be someone I am not. I was not born this way.

I guess I need to accept that who I am is not who I want to be. There will be release when I can accept myself for the way I was made instead of trying so hard to be who I want to be. 

I shall say it here. I shall try to.

I've never said this aloud before, with this kind of weight behind it. But I think I need to get it out. You may laugh when I say it, or take it lightly, or find it absurd, but it is true and I know it but I have not been able to accept it of myself.

Or you might laugh because you've always known, but I was trying to hide the facts from myself.

Here goes:

Speaking in purely scientific and psychological terms...

I am an introvert.

That basically means that a little stimulation goes a long way with me. Thus I cannot take too much stimulation or my brain shuts down. I cannot survive at long parties. You'll see my quiet and anti-social after a while, but I'll try to hide it. I cannot be around people for long periods. I cannot talk to too many people in a day.

Scientists have discovered the difference between the brains of introverts and extroverts. I can't find you the youtube link and it's frustrating the life out of me.

Whatever the case. I have been a closet introvert.

It's freaking tiring trying to be an extrovert when you are not. I try not to be alone and emo, but I am drained when I don't have this kind of time alone. Okay I found a link on wiki to what one of my favorite psychologist said about this topic:

According to Carl Jung, introversion and extraversion refer to the direction of psychic energy. If a person’s psychic energy usually flows outwards then he or she is an extravert, while if the energy usually flows inwards, the person is an introvert.^[10] Extraverts feel an increase of perceived energy when interacting with a large group of people, but a decrease of energy when left alone. Conversely, introverts feel an increase of energy when alone, but a decrease of energy when surrounded by a large group of people.

There we go. Right on the mark.

The thing is... Our society values extraversion. Speaking up gets you points in school. Frankly, I love to shut up and shut off. Leave me alone in a room for 3 days and don't talk to me. Some people may die, but I'll live. In fact, I did it before in India, keeping myself in a room with little more than a candle, a piece of paper, and a pen for 3 days. I emerged with the most wonderful piece of fiction I had ever written.

Why is this even an issue? It seems something small, slightly surprising, but what difference has it made on my life? Everything. So many of my decisions that I made were based on the desire to be extroverted. I dare say, even back when I was with Sarah Smith, I wanted to be with her only as much as I wanted to be like her. 

My life needs to change.

I need to stop trying to be the way the world wants me to be, and start being the way God made me.

Biological introversion is not a bad thing. Being easily stimulated means I cannot take large groups for long, but it also means that I can notice small actions and body language very easily. That made me an effective counsellor, because I knew what a person was saying, as well as what the person was trying not to say- I was so sensitive I could tell the mood of a person on MSN by just looking at the length of time the person takes in typing a reply. I can't cope well with team sports, but I do some detailed fine art. Like really, will an extravert carve pencil lead sculptures? And I can't do street-e; it really kills me, but I love talking to my friends about God.

It's not going to be like, no I'm not going to talk to people any more. It's just that I'm going to give myself a break when I need it. I may not be as friendly as you, but I'll live with it. My strengths are in other areas.

Saying I'm an introvert is just saying "I'm not trying to be cool any more. I will be true."

But then again, I'm not your normal stereotyped introvert. I use my time alone to come up with things to show people. I've always been difficult to classify, and sometimes am the only exception. However, I'm closer to being an introvert than being an extrovert.

Oh come on, why do you think I blog so much?

PS: Here's the song.

How can this baby be so cute ah?

Take my breath away

Nothing takes my breath away like the blue and the dim and the dark sky, just after the sun has set.

Well... except maybe red hair on fair skin.


I remember I was backstage just before my play began, and peering through the gaps of the false wall, I caught sight of a lady in the audience who had the most beautiful red hair. She was looking down and I could not see her face.


"I just saw someone I like," I told the rest of the cast.

"You know her?" They asked.

"No, but she has red hair."

"Eh? That might be my sister!" My co-star said.


I excitedly peered out into the audience again to the direction that my co-star told me her sister was sitting.

"No, no, it's the one sitting next to your sister!" I said.

"That's... that's my mother."


I looked out again, and by now the lady had looked up. Yup, that was her mother.


But still... oh how nice her hair was!

One day after I saw my first Singaporean Cicada...

We were leaving the house to loud buzzing of some insect at the corridor.

Dad said it was a dragonfly.

It sounded like it, but it looked more like a wasp.

So I followed it.


The insect had landed on the wall outside my house.

I cried out to Marianne the moment I saw it.

A most beautiful Cicada just outside my house.

It's true.

The good Lord giveth, and the good Lord taketh away.

Labrador Park

It is beautiful. So well kept, so empty. I love how inaccessible it is because that makes it a quiet retreat from the crowds in Singapore. The best part is how the waterfront is blocked from the rest of the city by a low hill. So you can't see the city skyline.


I stood at the boardwalk by the sea. To my left was blue skies and white clouds. To my right was thunder and grey. I was in the middle of Singapore. The sound of waves crashing beneath my feet.


I find God in nature. I feel God in nature.


It's been a long 3 weeks of assignments. I just needed time off. So I came here to walk and pray.


They have a labyrinth here you know!

Anyway it began to drizzle.


It had to rain. Yeah. No cars stopped to give me a lift, though one family slowed down when i flagged the down, but I saw they had no space. So walking out in the rain, I got drenched when a car zoomed past me and splashed me with puddled water. Soaked until my underwear was wet.


But I don't complain about the rain. Because it forced me to look down when I walk. Coming in before the rain (it is quite a long walk in), I had my head in the clouds and felt the breeze upon my face. Leaving, I had the umbrella over my head, the droplets at my feet and my eyes the floor.


I'm glad I did. I almost stepped on this guy.

This is the first Cicada I've seen in Singapore. I've seen huge ones in Taiwan, and nymphs in Australia, all while on army missions.

Australian Cicada nymph wrestling.

This one was not small for Singapore standards, and had fallen and was crawling through the rain.

I picked it up, called it brother, and carried him to the shelter of a nearby tree. I was happily bouncing my way back when the car splashed me.

Well, the good Lord giveth, and the good Lord taketh away.


Oh I arrived in church early for Bible Study, but I missed the singing because I was so intrigued by a battle on the wall of epic but tiny proportions. A rainfly that had lost it's wings was struggling on the wall, clinging to a small ball of sorts. Then I realised that a tiny spider less than half of it's size was on it's head. I watched in amazement as the spider ran circles around this much stronger and bigger insect, tying it with more and more web so thin I could not see it. It was so amazing to watch, and I held my breath at moments, and cheered at others.

In the end, I realised that that ball the rainfly was clinging on to was another rainfly, totally covered by web. This spider was something.


How great is our God, sing with me.

Disgusting

I was sitting on a crowded bus next to this guy I didn't know.

He was peeling the skin off his thumb.

I was so disgusted I wanted to tell him off.

But I could not turn my head to face him.

The mucus would drip down again you see.

So I just leaned back and lived with the disgust.

Moving

I almost cried listening to this again. Won't tell you why.

Balloon within a Balloon

Sure you've heard of a dream within a dream.

But how about a sculpting balloon within a balloon?

Oh yeah. My balloon now has a heart.

Sucker Punch

(This is what I wrote for my assignment on Gender studies, word for word.)

I was interested in Zach Snyder’s Sucker Punch from the moment I read a short synopsis of it at the start of this year. That was all I knew of the movie, and I intentionally stayed away from trailers, reviews, posters and even friends who had watched the film since- I did not want to hear any spoilers, or anything else that might influence my viewing in any way. I wanted to see it for myself without any expectations.

And I loved it.

Step aside boys, we'll take it from here.

I was not the only one who did- quite a few critics gave it a good review:

"Spectacular"
Hugh Hart, Wired.com

"A visual masterpiece." 
Jeremy Parsons, Reelzchannel

"A brilliant tour de force."
Bill Bregolli, CBS Radio

"Intense and revolutionary filmmaking."
Jake Hamilton, Fox-TV

So I began telling my friends about how beautiful the movie was; The cinematic visuals were breathtaking, the soundtrack immensely haunting, and the subject matter something so fresh- choosing to use original material instead of just bringing yet another comic book or fairy tale to the big screen.

That was when I started getting judged. People were telling me how it looked like a stupid/bimbo movie and kept saying only guys would want to watch a movie like that. It was strange- quite a few of my friends and I who had watched it really enjoyed it, but most of my friends who had not watched it hated it. I thus researched the marketing strategy of the film through its posters and trailers and finally understood why it was looked at with such disdain.

The film was marketed as a “girls and guns” movie, targeting an audience of young males in a way that made it look like Dead or Alive (a terrible show based on a computer game which did not do well at the box office). Such a misrepresentation of the film by the marketing department turned people off before even seeing the film, as they thought the movie was only about sex and violence. It is unfortunate that a movie of such artistic value, being inspired by classics like Brazil (1985), was discredited by its own publicity campaign.

In the Sucker Punch posters, the girls are in tight leather outfits and decked out with swords and guns. In the movie they are indeed seen at some points in these outfits, fighting off hordes of monstrous enemies during dream sequences, but these scenes take up only a small proportion of the movie. In fact, most of the scenes take place in a metaphorical representation of the whorehouse where the girls are trapped and trying to escape from, but these images never appear on the posters. Neither do images of the asylum where the girls are trapped in reality appear in the posters. There is a certain depth to this movie in terms of the exploration of the dreamscape on several levels, but none of these get translated out to the general public by the marketing method that simply resorted to using sex to sell.

When I told my High-School-Musical-loving friends that Vanessa Hudgens was acting in this movie, they were surprised. This in turn surprised me- how could they not know their favorite star was acting in the movie they were about to watch? A closer analysis of the posters drew me to a fact that shocked me: The actresses’ names were never included (in the posters or the trailers). This meant that the movie was marketed to people who did not care for the names of the actresses in the movie, but watched for their bodies instead. This was objectification of the female body on two levels- first in their revealing outfits, and second in their lack of identity (or worth) beyond their sexy bodies.


Of course one could argue from the opposite angle and say that these images represent an empowered and strong woman who fights for herself. In fact, the movie’s director does state how he was making a film about self-empowerment. The closing lines of the movie do support this view: “Who chains us... and who holds the key that can set us free? It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!” But this form of empowerment by usage of sex appeal does not overthrow the structures that hold women at an inferior position in society but instead reinforces them. The images in the poster send the subtle message that women can be strong and fight the way men can, but they have to be sexy and appealing before they can be powerful. Men, on the other hand, do not need to look good in order to fight evil and oppression. To further illustrate the point, here is a man in the same attire Vanessa Hudgens was in above.

This is quite a jarring image precisely because the stereotyped strong heroic man does not necessarily need to look good or sexy. In fact when he tries to look good, he is seen as less heroic. But for a woman, the industry’s images of them perpetrate the stereotype that her social standing and power is associated with her looks, in a phenomenon known as the reinforcement of the feminine beauty ideal.

At the end of the day I was left with a question I could not answer. Yes it is true that the marketing campaign of Sucker Punch objectified women far more than it empowered them, but is any form of empowerment better than none? In the movie all the girls (Spoiler alert, highlight to view) were stuck in an imagined whorehouse, and the only way they could get out was for the main character, Babydoll to dance seductively in order to distract the male guards so the other girls can steal the 4 items they needed to escape. So she acted submissive and sexy in order to attain power to overcome the male powers that be and ultimately find freedom. Given that there was no other way out of this patriarchal institution in this context, is this form of empowerment of women still better than none?

(Required minimum word count- 500 words. My word count? 1008 words. This is what happens when you study something you're interested in.)

Music is for the Soul

It brings you to another place and time.

I am at my lowest

I'm missing deadlines, I'm tired, I've not had time to journal.

I'm failing in everything I'm doing.

I have no pride left.

But I feel so free.

Nothing is hampering God from using me.

I wish I could always be this broken.

Done

Wanna see my project?

It's about Representations of the Female Body in Graphic Novels.

Click here.


If you can't be bothered, here's a conversation my sec 2 and 3 boys are having about the location and time of our next bible study instead:

2nd Deadline I missed in 2 days

Midnight. Meh.

And this is a group project.

I believed I was super powered

Last night's dream:

My sabre handle felt wider than it should. Maybe coz I was using the wooden kitana like a sabre in real life.


But that is unimportant. At one point in time in my dream I was at an small amusement park. I thought it was one that Mr Bean was filmed in, but I was probably mistaken. I think I woke for a while coz I dreamt I was sleeping in the park behind a small fence with a blanket, and I pulled on my blanket in real life. (Funny... Marianne next door said she had a dream of an amusement park at the same time in which they were all falling asleep on rides...)

Yeah and at another point I was skating round the shopping centre on a tray? Coolness. Saw Ryan along the way. No holds barred speeding. Absolutely free.


Anyway towards the end I stood next to a very tall Amanda. She was taller than Desiree, and her legs were super long. The rest did not seem to notice, but i did. And I suspected I was responsible. It's true, the harder I focused on Amanda, the more she seemed to grow. To my shock I realised my mind had the power to change people physically.

Bryan posed for a picture. I tried to focus my mind on him but could not as I was holding the problematic camera. Then Jeff came to help me. I then stared at Bryan and made him put on weight instantaneously. Soon his shirt was looking far too small for him and he complained. I looked away and he returned to normal.

I was so excited. I could change the world. I thanked God and started planning on how I could use this power for his glory. I knew not it's limits, and that was an exciting thing.


I really believed it in my dream. It was so real.

Ah... I am one who lives in the realm of dreams... I have a potential for wild imagination. Today I dreamt my mind had the power over everything around. Funny irony though, was that everything in my dream was still a part of my mind.


It's only in dreams that I'm really free.

Dad took me to see my cousins

I did not make the deadline.

The folder for submission was closed.

And today I got my group project grade for this same module.

We did not do well.

By the time I sent an email to my prof I had an email from him to everyone.

No late submission allowed. 

10 days grace given already.

This paper is worth 25% of the total grade.

That screws this module.

That screws this sem's CAP.

That screws everything up.

This close, this close... to recovering from year 1 semester 1's terrible grades. 

Took me a year and a half to pull my grades back up.

Then this?

Meh.

Should I bother finishing the essay?

I have no strength to.

Oh wait, an email reply from Prof!

Oh crap. Ouch. Argh. 

Okay...

I deserved those words.

But wait! 

He said he's giving me a last chance to submit it now to his email right now!

Oh crap.


Still not done!

1 hour 30 minutes

Finally finished my planning.

Word count still at 0.

Here we go.

2 hours left...

2000 words to go.

Minutes to midnight.

If Manson can, so can you.

Let's all tumblr away.

I'm too tired to journal

I don't have the time or energy to put pen to paper and sort out my thoughts of last week,

So I'll just write a short one here.


Dear God,

I'm sorry. It's happened again. I've lost track of you. I hold on to the things I like in this world because I like them. But in doing, I forget you. I'm sorry. You let me have them, in all their unsatisfactory wholeness. And as i try harder and harder to find satisfaction elsewhere, I fail and find myself lost.

I want to be free Lord. Please, help me overcome. I just want to be with you.

Take her away. Or take me away. I can't bear it no more.

Justin

Life is Meh

"The plague of the 21st century 

is absolute meaninglessness."

In church today, two young guys were telling me how they found life meaningless.

I found it sad. But... I found it true. I felt so.


This week has been the second week I nearly missed my sabbath because I was doing assignments 7 days a week. But I forced myself to stop for sanity sake. I needed time off, time alone.

I didn't even feel like having dinner with my family today even though Marianne had just gotten back. I just wanted to be alone. But they gave me time, and time enough.


I travelled down to city hall alone, and after dropping off Marianne's film for developing, took a long walk down to Bras Basar and Bugis.


Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless.

I plugged in my mp3 player and walked past hundreds of people who did not give me a second look. Not that I was looking at them anyway. I walked on, slowly.

The sky was overcast. So overcast it had a tinge of yellow in it, as though the clouds were fighting to obscure the sun. Lightning, and strong thunder.

I walk alone because I need to be.

Life feels meaningless, most of the time.

Here in Singapore we have everything, but seem to lack the one thing that gives our lives purpose.


I stopped to look at the trees by the busy road, and feel the cold wind brush past my face, and let my senses tingle and remind me that I'm alive.

Switchfoot's "You" played on my mp3. I prayed so hard my mp3 would not die. Its battery was almost dead, but I was depending on it for my life.


"It's not me, it's you."


I was so lost I needed to be reminded that I'm alive. Being alone in a crowd and crying out to the Lord in desperation helped remind me of who He was.

The wrath of nature kicked in. I felt moved. I knew I was still alive. I knew I was living for something more than these for walls.

I want to be free.


I am free, but I often forget it.

I get lost in the comic book superheroes and haunting music and hilarious YouTubes and school assignments and cookies that I think make me happy that I forget they don't last and the more I try to run to them the more they run from me.

I need to stop and feel something real.


Life has meaning when I worship God.

That's about it.


Do understand. I depend on him so desperately because if I don't, I can't live on in this meaningless world.

We come to the end of the semester

It is coming the final week of school.

I made it a point to make friends this semester.

It's important.

Uni can be a great and fun place, but it's easy to forget to build lasting friendships.


I made few friends in year 1.

Good friends I did find of course, but still very few for a whole year.

I worked hard this year to get to know people in every module.

And I'm glad I've made about 3 friends per module on average.

I'm about to add these new friends on Facebook.

I hope some of these friendships last beyond our being in the same class.

I pray they do.

One more thing- I can't help noticing how there are a disproportionate number of astoundingly beautiful girls among the new friends that I made. Almost a third of the new friends I have are astonishingly good looking. 

Hehehe. 

How Buddha Learnt About Suffering

I was watching the film Little Buddha for my Religion and Film module.

Quite a grand scene, this one:



(You only need to watch till 8:40, beyond that is a different story.)

The scene looks more like Hollywood than India, just as the actor looks more like a westerner than an Indian prince.


Does he look familiar to you? You probably know him.

French

Yesterday I dreamt up having the gift of tongues.

I was suddenly able to understand French.

The doctors could not explain it.


Today in reality I was at fencing.

My French friend Dominique trained with us for the last time.

Florence came over and spoke in her bullet time singlish.

Dominique smiled and said she spoke very fast.

Florence responded by asking, "Don't french speakers speak fast too?"


Dominique responded by saying a line in French at bullet speed.

Florence laughed.

I translated the line for her.

They both stopped laughing and stared at me in shock.


I was not surprised Florence was surprised.

I had no idea what he had said, and neither had she.

There was no way she could call my bluff.


But I was surprised Dominique was surprised.

I had just made a random translation to fool Florence.

But Dominique told me I had translated it word for word.

Is that what I think it is?

Random Post Number 666

I saw a girl sitting alone before class began.

I've not talked to her this semester, but I read her tumblr.

I went to sit next to her.

I told her I knew what was going on.

I told her I feel her pain.

And gave her half a hug before I left.

-:-

I sat next to Yaoqi in class.

I asked DDGG next to me a question even girls felt shy to ask her.

I wanted to type it here, but you'll misunderstand.

I had lunch, tea, and dinner within the span of 4 hours today.

Each at a different place, each with a different girl.

Lunch at BK, only I ate.

Tea at Ben and Jerry's. She paid.

Celeste walked past as I had dinner at the deck with another girl.

Celeste commented that she's been bumping into me a lot lately.

I asked her to stop stalking me.

-:-

I walked through one of the biggest LTs today in pitch darkness just because the steps were glowing, like something right out of star wars. And because a girl walked the path some time before me... and I have a tendency of following people into the dark.


I knelt down on the crowded LRT platform and prayed a Hallelujah.

Then I looked up and around at people for the first time in a while.

In the train, I could count the number of people not using their phones with one hand.


I don't think anyone saw how I walked out of the train in slow motion, descended down the stairs and spun round at the bottom, because they were all walking and using their phones the way I used to do when I was their age. No sorry, when I was Ryan Toh's age.

"There's coke in my nose."

-Ryan Toh

5.4.2011

(One of the secondary school boys I take for Bible Study.)

I don't like listening to love songs

They are to me, like romance novels are to some girls.


Love is the opiate of the genders.

But... this song... is an exception.



Funny thing, I never liked the song till I heard it without the music video of the girl running around. Then I realised how awesome the lyrics were. Thus this post.