But it's very hard.
Last week I managed to do one, after breaking like... 2.
I realised the music you listen to affects you.
When I listened to the heavy bass and screams of the Sucker Punch soundtrack I broke the lead I was carving.
When I switched to Coldplay I got better with songs like Yellow.
But then came their faster songs and I broke another pencil.
I finally managed to succeed with Corrinne May's voice in the background.
Today I tried to make the same model but it failed so badly.
I listened to LOTR, then Corrinne May.
I worked for 4 hours straight and broke all 4 pencils.
I was so frustrated.
I chased mom, dad and Marianne from my room when they came to talk to me (and ask me about buying new slippers?) because it was distracting me from the delicate task which was always one cut away from disaster. That added to the negative emotions.
When I switch to task oriented mode, don't disturb me.
I'm usually very concerned with how people feel, but when there's a tough job that needs to be done, or when time's short, I flip to this mode and get it done at all cost.
I don't like being this way and not caring about people, so I only flip to this mode when I must.
But it frustrates me when I flip to this mode and step on people and in the end it shows no results. Each broken pencil added more and more frustration that left me screaming so much I could no longer do the intricate art of pencil carving.
Today's a bad day.
Last week I managed to do one, after breaking like... 2.
I realised the music you listen to affects you.
When I listened to the heavy bass and screams of the Sucker Punch soundtrack I broke the lead I was carving.
When I switched to Coldplay I got better with songs like Yellow.
But then came their faster songs and I broke another pencil.
I finally managed to succeed with Corrinne May's voice in the background.
Today I tried to make the same model but it failed so badly.
I listened to LOTR, then Corrinne May.
I worked for 4 hours straight and broke all 4 pencils.
I was so frustrated.
I chased mom, dad and Marianne from my room when they came to talk to me (and ask me about buying new slippers?) because it was distracting me from the delicate task which was always one cut away from disaster. That added to the negative emotions.
When I switch to task oriented mode, don't disturb me.
I'm usually very concerned with how people feel, but when there's a tough job that needs to be done, or when time's short, I flip to this mode and get it done at all cost.
I don't like being this way and not caring about people, so I only flip to this mode when I must.
But it frustrates me when I flip to this mode and step on people and in the end it shows no results. Each broken pencil added more and more frustration that left me screaming so much I could no longer do the intricate art of pencil carving.
Today's a bad day.
No comments:
Post a Comment