People who found out that I cried 7 times during the musical Wicked ask me why.
It's a simple question.
But something that made me tear and cry 7 times, over the span of a single performance, would be something intensely personal. And to give a simplistic answer as to why I did would not be doing justice to myself.
So I shall answer this question as appropriately as I can here on my blog.
I cried 7 times during Wicked because...
I am Elphaba.
I felt so much for the green witch Elphaba over the span of her life. She grew up feeling different, and just longed for the day she could finally meet the wonderful Wizard of Oz, become his assistant, and he would be able to make her skin normal coloured and solve all her problems. She would finally be accepted. She would finally find her self-worth. She might even have a chance with the guy she fancied who she never felt worthy of.
I knew how she felt. I recognized every word she cried, almost as if my own.
Things came down to this single moment, this one scene that captured the entire of Elphaba's struggle so poignantly. This was the scene that killed me, that made me cry my eyes out.
Against all the odds, Elphaba finally meets the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
But he is not at all what she thought he would be.
There comes a point in time that Elphaba realises that her childhood ambitions, built on idealistic notions of the world, are different from what the real world needs for her to be. And now she must choose.
She can either remain subscribing to the image of who she wanted to be since young, or grow up and become who she had to be.
Growing up would cost her everything. Her best friend. Her chance at a normal life. Her childhood ambitions. The guy she likes. Her reputation and pouplarity, however small it currently was. Everything she had hoped and dreamed of and ever wanted would be sacrificed for her to do what she felt she needed to do.
She would be opposing the powers that be. She would be kicking against the grain. She would be standing alone. Possibly even against her friends. And family. And the whole land of Oz.
She would have to give up everything.
And she did.
She had seen something that could not be unseen. Something that resonated with everything in her being. And from the moment she felt it, she knew that she could never go back to who she was and wanted to be.
And so she did.
So... why did I cry 7 times during Wicked?
Because I knew what Elphaba was going through, giving up everything because she saw a need in the world that she would rather die trying to solve than to live with in submission.
You know what?
It's exactly one year since I got my calling.
And I still think I'll try defying gravity.
It's a simple question.
But something that made me tear and cry 7 times, over the span of a single performance, would be something intensely personal. And to give a simplistic answer as to why I did would not be doing justice to myself.
So I shall answer this question as appropriately as I can here on my blog.
I cried 7 times during Wicked because...
I am Elphaba.
I felt so much for the green witch Elphaba over the span of her life. She grew up feeling different, and just longed for the day she could finally meet the wonderful Wizard of Oz, become his assistant, and he would be able to make her skin normal coloured and solve all her problems. She would finally be accepted. She would finally find her self-worth. She might even have a chance with the guy she fancied who she never felt worthy of.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl.
I knew how she felt. I recognized every word she cried, almost as if my own.
Things came down to this single moment, this one scene that captured the entire of Elphaba's struggle so poignantly. This was the scene that killed me, that made me cry my eyes out.
Against all the odds, Elphaba finally meets the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
But he is not at all what she thought he would be.
There comes a point in time that Elphaba realises that her childhood ambitions, built on idealistic notions of the world, are different from what the real world needs for her to be. And now she must choose.
She can either remain subscribing to the image of who she wanted to be since young, or grow up and become who she had to be.
Growing up would cost her everything. Her best friend. Her chance at a normal life. Her childhood ambitions. The guy she likes. Her reputation and pouplarity, however small it currently was. Everything she had hoped and dreamed of and ever wanted would be sacrificed for her to do what she felt she needed to do.
She would be opposing the powers that be. She would be kicking against the grain. She would be standing alone. Possibly even against her friends. And family. And the whole land of Oz.
She would have to give up everything.
And she did.
GLINDA
Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry.
You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted.
ELPHABA
I know...
But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore...
She had seen something that could not be unseen. Something that resonated with everything in her being. And from the moment she felt it, she knew that she could never go back to who she was and wanted to be.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
And so she did.
So... why did I cry 7 times during Wicked?
Because I knew what Elphaba was going through, giving up everything because she saw a need in the world that she would rather die trying to solve than to live with in submission.
ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
You know what?
It's exactly one year since I got my calling.
And I still think I'll try defying gravity.
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