Puzzles

When I set my mind to do something, I never give up on it.


I love puzzles, especially those cast-iron interlocking ones which you have to try to undo. There have been those that I fiddled with for a few hours or days before successfully undoing, while there was one that took me a full 3 months to finish.


Whatever the case, I never gave up, and always solved the puzzle.


I view people as puzzles too. If I can understand them, I solve the puzzle.


But people are much more complex than cast-iron.


And my undying perseverance is sometimes my fatal flaw.


The solving of one such puzzle consumed me in 2008, while another made me falter and fall in 07. The fact that I cannot give up leads me to try all means and ways to solve the puzzle. Sometimes... this involves giving parts of myself away, or doing things I should not be doing.


The worst thing to tell me is that no one else has solved a certain puzzle before. The same goes with someone saying "no one has understood me before" or "no one can ever understand me".


I take it as a challenge, and I never, ever, give up.


And so... I probably lost almost everything in the past 6 months or more. I failed, I tried again using a different method, I failed again.


Never give up.


Yeah right.


To gain something, you'll always need to lose something. I'm tired of losing so much for the sake of saying I never gave up.


I give up.