Marriage Panic

Rachel and I were talking about her eventual move out of Marianne's room.

She was going to miss my family, and I was going to miss her company.

But there was little else that we could do; it was an inevitable eventuality.


Then she suggested a way out, "Let's just get married."


Heh.

She said it in jest, and we laughed.

It's a lot more fun when I'm not the only one cracking such jokes.


But later on when I was on my own in my room, just for the fun of it, I let my mind wander along that path...

What if, instead of parting, we got married?

And oh my goodness I panicked.


Dad and mom are leaving in July, we hardly have 6 months to plan! Oh and her family and friends are in the UK, how do we send invites in time!? And I have my exams in April! And where are we going to stay after we get married? And what about Marianne whom I need to take care of? And how am I going to... to... to... AHHHHHHHHH!!!!


Most of all, I feared the sudden loss of this phase of life that I had not lived fully yet. I had just gotten used to university life, and had not begun living the way I wanted to, having a positive impact on the environment here. And if I have to plan to get married now, I just don't have the time to do what I feel so called to do this semester in NUS.


So yes, I talk a lot about marriage, but God punked me by giving me what I wanted, at least for a moment in my mind, and had me crawling back to his feet saying, "Please Lord, your will, not mine..."


He's called me and placed me right here and right now to do his will. I shall not worry about tomorrow when there are things he wants me to do today.

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." -Jim Elliot