Until now, none of the girls I've met have been the right one for me... except maybe one of them.
The problem is that I know not which one.
In completing my article on Attraction #5 and finding Abigail, I realised (to my horror) that while I've found out what kind of woman I want as a wife, I do not match up to her standards of a husband.
Zjur zjhur zjhur!
And so I now dedicate my next year to becoming a man.
In the meantime... This is a letter to you who I may have met but know not who you are. You're hidden in faces everywhere.
"Dear nice christian potential wife,
I've been looking for you for a while now, but haven't seemed to have found you yet. Anyway, I'm just writing to let you know that I'm going to stop looking for you, and work on myself for a time instead.
I'm doing this so that when I do meet you, I will not be a let down. I don't know how long I'll take, but please don't lose hope in me just because I'm not searching for you. Wait for me k?
Love,
Nice christian potential husband,
Justin "
copy my idea right... lol
ReplyDeleteI found it scary when I wrote a draft of this and then within the week people were talking to me about the very same issue in very similar ways. I tell you ah... To wait to post is to no longer be original.
ReplyDeleteBut anyhow, I don't know who copied who first, because I've actually been talking abut this for a long time.
http://justin-hui.blogspot.com/2010/01/poem-to-my-wife.html
http://justin-hui.blogspot.com/2010/05/change.html
Just that my convictions were weaker before, so I'm still talking about it but not doing anything about it yet. Kekeke. Hope this time's different.
Or maybe surrender is just a continual process.
As the unbiased, objective and neutral third party here, I can say for sure that Justin did not copy anybody.
ReplyDeleteHe has certainly been talking about these issues for the past few weeks; I can vouch for that. I know for sure that he didn't copy this from anyone.
Back to the topic, I think you are already fine. But it is a never-ending battle to improve oneself, and the destination to perfection is unreachable. Still, if one does not strive to improve oneself, he will forever remain where he is. I hope you succeed in becoming whoever you become, but don't be disheartened if you don't reach your goal. It would be great if you do manage to take those vital steps and becoming a slightly better person.
If you ask me, though, the idea of who is your perfect wife and all will eventually fall flat when you meet the one you really love. Love is that irrational - you will accept her for all of her faults even if she doesn't measure up to your standards in the first place. That's what love is about - you don't love her because of her strengths and weaknesses (or lack of weaknesses in this case), you love her for who she is and accept everything about her.
Of course, if the both of you continue to improve each other, all the better.
My two cents, though. I could be wrong.
Yeah Chun Wai, I like what you say about the destination being unreachable, but the journey itself is important in that it gets us closer to the ideal.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, yeah I believe love is irrational, and that I tend to think the world of someone i like, but if that's the case and it's not based on strengths and weaknesses then how would anyone know who is a better choice of spouse for them?
It depends, doesn't it, on who you marry?
ReplyDeleteIt can be someone who makes your heart throb and beat fast, someone you happen to fall in love with first sight, or someone who likes you and you slowly begin to accept her and love her back.
If your wife commits a crime, will you divorce her? Or will you stand by her and wait for her even if she serves out a prison term?
We'll never truly know how "perfect" our spouse is until we get married to them. Before marriage, you only see the sweet, nice side. It is only after you get married that you begin to see her true ugly side. Of course, her beauty is as authentic as her ugliness, but in marriage you will learn to accept her faults as well as her strengths.
Before you get married, I doubt you'll know enough about her unless you live with her like a married couple to begin with. That's the case with a lot of couples. They think they meet their ideal partner, but after marriage, they start seeing cracks and flaws.
I'd stand by my wife at the least, though I may not necessarily support her or what she's doing. So yeah she commits a crime, I'll wait for her.
ReplyDeleteStill, I must believe that even before the sparks fly, it is possible to tell if this girl is likely to commit a crime in future. Sure you can never be absolutely sure, but some you can quite safely tell if they are going to.
In the same way I think it's important to be able to discern a person's character before even getting romantically involved. I think once the sparks start to fly, heightened emotions affect everything. Sure we can't tell everything about someone, but if even before we start dating there are things about the girl I know I dislike, then I really need to fight the emotions and divert my attraction away.