It's not me.

I feel a void creeping in my heart.

I don't know if it's the void that's expanding, or something else fading.

I don't want to be emo, I don't want to cry for help.

I'm okay.

I'm just a little lost.

-:-

I put up my first play on Thursday.
I did my second play on Friday.
I went out to play and pray on Saturday.
I was offered a possible film project on Sunday.
I went to watch my film played in the city on Monday.
I'm doing my first local sermon this weekend. Pray.

-:-

I'm impressed by you. How you can be so in your face, so yourself, so fearless. Not caring what people think of you, absolutely comfortable with who you are.

I wish I could do that too. I've always wished I could.

But I wished I could be so fearless in being not myself, but in being who I want to be.


Oh Lord, why do I falter in my steps following after you.